Only blew up 16 times in the recent past, but as soon I am out of the hospital recovering from my latest adventure with it, that'll be fixed

Don't make 'em any more

I am the first owner of this fantastic, if somewhat intimidating device. Bought it back in 1865, the hammersmith in my village saying I ought to have it. I bought it straight away just to avoid more hammers being thrown at me that day, not knowing for what a treat I was in! I thank the hammersmith posthumourously for his great lack of service. Had to do it all myself! I am so proud now! And happy! I still don't have a clue as to what it does since mine seems to be some kind of a grey import from china, at least the manual seems to be written in chinese. Haven't found anybody to translate it for me.

After the 30th trie it finally was somewhat assembled, when turning it on my house set on fire. Decided to live in open air since then.

It worked never since, but I am all to happy just to own this beautiful beast!

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The Lirpa's power to act as both a humidifier as well as a listening device

unknown

The Lirpa Turbo Turntable, what can I say about such a product. If you do not own one, go get one. It has, without a shadow of a doubt, has been the most influential piece of machinery in my life. I was headed down to the store one day when an Amish family was having a yard sale. As I was sifting through a wooden box full of wooden boxes for sale, I stumbled across the Lirpa Turbo Steamtable. Brother Samuel told me the history of the Lirpa and I could not deny the fact that the Lirpa was a piece of engineering genius. So without a question I traded a 2x4 and a 8ozs of grain for his Lirpa.
I now understand that there are plug in Lirpa's but my Lirpa, the K6Z model was powered by pedals, much like an early style sewing machine. I immediately went home and grabbed my Stevie Wonder lp and drank a bottle of gatorade. I was ready to pedal and be the sunshine of life. I proceeded to pedal until I heard stevie spit out a few words. After about two minutes the steam was billowing out of the Lirpa. I proceeded to pedal faster ad faster and Stevie caught up to speed. At the point of exhaustion I fell and knocked the Lirpa over giving myself a 4th degree burn down my right side. I never did heal properly, my wife left me, my kids are scared of me and I can't stop schaffing. I constantly have to sit in a tub full of ice and I never leave my home. But my Lirpa is still with me and I have trained my dog to pedal. I understand that the new model is extremely remarkable, but I suggest if you find a Lirpa, try and get the K6Z model. It will change your life.

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Egads! Another SteamTable owner out there...! Solidarity, comrade!
Have you tried swapping out the cheapie silver-wire
interconnects with the platinum-iridium connectors and
substituting long strands of acid-core soldering wire? It really
brings out the contrabassooncello on PDQ Bach's immortal Concerto
for Lawnmower vs. Orchestra! The image depth gains are incredible!!!
Better than your toy Viewmaster!

There really is *no* better turntable out there. When cost is no object,
THIS is the object to have!

Just a note for all you Lirpa fans out there. It's a little known fact that a special European version was made that only worked with sparking mineral water. Apparently the balanced ionic structure of the water allowed the steam particles to polarize molecularly, giving an incredibly low sound floor. So low, in fact, that Lirpa would refer to it as a 'sound basement'in their literature.

It also does a great job on my shirts.

...and, with a little creative adjustment to the piping, it makes a very aromatic sauna as well...Love that Lirpa!!! Regards, Jerry O

I got mine installed with the new steam suspension MK II modification which recirculates the steam in a gimbal suspension setup beneath the platter. That way, all ionic flux variants are canceled between the head-shell anti-magnetic structure and the motor assembly. Lirpa won't sell you one of these upgrade kits on the open market. No; instead, you'll have to contact the engineers in Building IV yourself (at the side door) and ring the little blue buzzer just above the "BLUE BUZZER" sign on the right side of the door.
Four stars with out the upgrade; but certainly five stars with.

I'm surprised that nobody has yet mentioned the latest MkIII modification, with optional garage door opener and pants presser module. Maybe it's because Lirpa went out of business several years ago. Well, the MkIII mod is worth every penny of its modest $25,000 cost. You get a whole new faceplate, along with the depleted uranium/composite base which really gives the bass that realistic "heavy" feeling. With the garage door opener "option" installed and activated (an absolute must for only an additional $4999.99), the sound-stage goes right out into your front yard. I would estimate the garage door opener increases the sound stage depth by at least 300%, or at least a couple of inches. Playing my mint pressing of Reiner's Scheraazade I was THERE in Chicago's Symphony Hall, complete with orchestra and steamroom. But I've saved the best for last. Not only does the $3000 pants presser module do the best job of pants pressing I've ever seen (just the thing after your subwoofer sonically dry cleans your clothes), but if you hire an illegal immigrant, you can even open a dry cleaning shop and make a little money on the side. Ten stars, a must buy!!!

The following upgrades and auxiliary equipment are available from Around-The-Bend Enterprises, Inc.

Steam generator modules: ranging in output from 1 kilo-mouse through 50 mega-mice, rated at boiler tap. These outputs are achieved with fuel-to-steam efficiencies of 3% (smaller models) to 11%. Note: electrostatic particulate separators (not included) are required for emissions control.

Steam-driven fuel preparation modules-choppers, shredders, and pulverizers. These modules accept all manner of household trash. (See also: conveyor modules, later.) Two models are recommended for the complete household. The GDS (Garbage Disposal Shunt) accepts all material from the sink, then drains, squeezes, and dries the material (using steam exhaust from the steam table - 100 feet of insulated 3-inch steam tubing included). The GSE (Garage Sale Eliminator) has a 4-ft by 5-ft input hopper. The output can be passed over various optional modules to separate and sort non-combustible materials.

Steam-driven conveyer units ranging in belt sizes from 1-inch width and 12-inch length through 48-inch width in 100-foot lengths.

Steam-driven reciprocating modules for attachment to devices such as toothbrushes, washboards, cradles, crosscut saws.

Auxiliary electrical devices to supplement steam power where necessary. It is estimated that a steam table augmented with the most common modules will require only one extra 600-amp electrical service connection for the average home.

Consulting available.

The inclusion of a standard set of these devices will raise any steam table by at least one full rating point, provided that sufficient separation (300 ft recommended) from the steam table is maintained.

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Built like a tank - well actually FROM a tank!

Hard to find the expensivium grease needed for the arm damper

This has got to be the most revolutionary audio product ever manufactured. Not only does it play 33, 45 and 78 transcriptions, but when equiped with the laser pickup from a Finial it even plays DVD discs, though it only decodes DTS sound tracks, not the more common AC-3 and PCM.

Luckily, my Lirpa Steamtable had the Stanley Steamer flash heat tubes and the propane conversion from Ducane that also allows one to cook while the music is cooking! I found this unit at a local Goodwill for $14.99, which turned out to be way too much for the fidelity it produced, but still it is a heck of a conversation piece and nearly as good as my vintage BSR 510 at playing records.

My only real concerns are over the time it takes to set up and adjust the critical tracking parameter, force, overhang, verticle tracking angle, damping, resonance, and emotive feedback. As one must remove the tonearm to change the records, involving the use of air impact tools and a hydraulic press, these must be reset for every record played, a process that takes considerable time. But the effort is well rewarded with sound unlike that from any conventional table. Of course the 85 db racket from the drive system and steam release valves does help to smooth out the nuances of the music, especially if one like calliope music.

All in all, there's just nothing that comes close to this product (perhaps since it runs so hot) and hopefully it will remain unapproached in the future!

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